


But if you do stay, then what do I say?

by Rose_Brewery



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Awkward Conversations, Canon Gay Relationship, Changing POV, Insecurity, Introspection, M/M, Misunderstandings, Panic Attacks, Post-Season/Series 01, Ray Butani honorable mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 18:07:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21212846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Brewery/pseuds/Rose_Brewery
Summary: When David leaves at the end of season 1, he doesn't end up at an Amish farm, instead he stumbles by a bar, where one Patrick Brewer is sitting after leaving his home and his fiance a couple years earlier than in canon.Previously: "Stay"Title from: "Whichever way you'll have it" by New Hands





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these two and I love the fanfiction I read about them but I don't think I've read one like this and I couldn't stop myself.  
I'm writing this on my phone in my free time so sorry for any mistakes!  
Also, rating might go up as this progresses.
> 
> More about the panic attack in the end notes
> 
> _________  
So it appears there is a fanfiction of their alternative first meeting after David ran away.  
[And this is it!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21063968/)  
Give it a read ;-)

A deserted bar in the middle of nowhere wasn't the best place to have a life altering moment in, but you can't really choose how these things go, can you. Patrick sat at the bar stand, his life neatly packed into a couple of backpacks, his phone turned off to hide from all the texts and calls he kept receiving, his second beer not even close to getting him buzzed, and his heart stuck in his throat as he unsuccessfully tried not to stare at the most beautiful human being he's ever seen.

When he left to get his thoughts sorted, a gay awakening wasn't on his agenda. And he could've lied to himself and told himself that he only found the stranger interesting because of the way he talked with his whole body and because he didn't look like he belonged in this bar, but it wasn't just that. It was his posture, his body, all sharp angles and edges, it was his hands moving about, his little whine of frustration when the bartender didn't have a phone charger he asked for, his facial expressions... One of which was currently directed at Patrick. That's when he realized he'd been staring for too long.

Patrick couldn't help the blush creeping up his face. He coughed awkwardly and tried to hide just how inappropriate he was acting by rubbing a hand across his mouth.

"What? What is it?" the stranger's voice was snippy and frustrated and yet still Patrick felt drawn to him. Feeling like if he got the man's hackles down, he'd be getting an impossibly precious treasure.

"No, uh. Nothing." this is where he should stop. He should stop, right? "I just overheard you and... I have a phone charger, if you need one."

"Oh my God, thank you!" the man throws his head back, pressing his lips between his teeth, and stretching both his arms out in a gimme gesture.

This time Patrick has to hide a smile behind a hand as he watches the man move about.

"I don't actually have it on me, it's at my motel room."

The hands fly back as if burned, the man, and he must be about Patrick's age, opens his mouth in an exaggerated look of affront before sweeping his eyes up and down Patrick's form. He settles on a thoughtful expression, head tilting, eyebrow raised, hands at the ready to accommodate him as soon as he starts talking.

"Um, excuse you, you could've at least offered to buy me a drink first." he raises an expectant eyebrow at Patrick, waiting for him to catch up to his words. He stretches his arm out, hand open for Patrick to shake.

"David."

"Patrick." he feels his mouth offer up his name while his brain desperately tries to catch up to what's happening. The man's, David's, hand is big and warm and surprisingly soft, while his handshake is firm enough to have Patrick's head spinning. While Patrick's brain is trying to catch up and figure out how this one tiny interaction is having him rethinking all of his life until this point, his body's all caught up, face flushed from the implication, heart thudding madly against his ribcage. His eyes trail David's features without Patrick giving them permission to. David's long limbs and his almost perfectly coiffed hair, the thick brows on his expressive face.

"So, Patrick. Tell me about yourself. As much as I appreciate the air of mystery I'd rather know a bit more about a man who's about to... charge my phone."  
Patrick feels his throat go dry and waves over the bartender, and if he orders a drink for both David and he, then no one's there to interpret it as anything but a friendly gesture.

***

The door clicks shut and before Patrick has a chance to reach for the light, there are firm hands turning him around and pushing him up against the door. His instincts aren't used to this, so he's left in a fight or flight limbo where he's expecting the first hit, like all of this, all the back and forth flirting over way more shots than they should've had didn't actually mean anything, that he was wrong to assume, that of course David wouldn't be into him... Instead there are lips on his lips and there's stubble and he has to lift his head up because David is taller than him... And he feels so right. Here, with this tall dark stranger pressing hot needy kisses across his jaw, with his own hands clutching at a broad back, he feels like he can breathe for the first time in- in forever. Even if right now he's sharing every breath with another person.

David doesn't waste time, pushing and pulling and Patrick is honestly okay with just following him blindly. Which should probably scare him more than it does.

They soon end up on Patrick's bed, Patrick's shirt lost along the way, his jeans being unbuttoned by David's sure fingers as they keep kissing. Patrick is crouched over this tall dark stranger, the man's thighs parted to perfectly fit Patrick between them. Patrick's own hands are busy roaming the taller man's chest under his sweater, feeling firmness and hair in places he's not used to, but too busy kissing to start freaking out about any revelations this is bringing on.

His lips move to David's neck, feeling the stubble beneath his lips and he feels a full body shiver at how exciting the sensation is. the drinks he had with David are making him bolder and he is probably moving too fast. He never had sex with a man, never had sex with a stranger, but David is gasping softly beneath him and Patrick wants to hear more of his voice, he wants to hear him lose control as much as he makes Patrick lose his. So he licks a stripe up the man's neck and then bites down, not strong enough to leave a mark, but enough to have David gasping.

A moment later, as if to mask the way he reacted, David shimmies his shoulders and mutters "kinky", making Patrick chuckle against his collarbone. That is still covered by the sweater. Which was completely unfair, considering Patrick was way closer to being out of his clothes.

Patrick begins tugging at the hem of David's sweater, when he hears a rushed: "No! Nope. No, no, no." and his heart stops.

Patrick is moving off of David as fast as he can, worried that he's just ruined it all without even understanding what he did wrong. But there's an arm shooting out and a firm grip on his shoulder stopping him from moving too far away. When he lifts his eyes up to look at David, the man is regarding him with a squint and a quirk to the mouth. His lips are shiny and red from all the making out. Patrick has to force himself to tear his eyes away from them.

David's hand trails down from Patrick's shoulder to hold his hand and Patrick has hope again, that maybe he didn't ruin it all.

"I didn't mean stop." David gives him a crooked smile, making Patrick's heart speed up. He sits up, legs still framing Patrick. "This sweater costs more than your entire wardrobe, no offence, so I'll handle taking it off myself, if you don't mind."

This should be offensive, and pretentious, and entirely untrue because that's just a black sweater, but Patrick can't help the amusement from showing on his face and the relief at him not screwing this up.

"By all means." He gestures for David to proceed and David pulls a face at him that just makes Patrick smile wider.

His brain, unhelpfully, starts thinking about the implications of all the fluttering going on in his chest, of the smile he can't seem to keep off his face, how it's not good to be feeling that intense so fast, with someone he knows nothing about.

And then David takes off his sweater and the t-shirt under it in one move and Patrick's brain short-circuits.  
David takes his time folding his clothes and carefully placing them on the safety of the nightstand. Patrick watches him mesmerized, the way his arms flex and the way his muscles move under his skin as he stretches to place his apparently very expensive sweater out of harm's way. And Patrick's seen other men naked, he's a man himself so there's really nothing new to him here to see, so he shouldn't be reacting the way he is, and yet.

He feels like a teenager all over again. Palms sweaty, heartbeat fast, breath coming out in ragged puffs. But there's no dread to accompany it, or fear. Just anticipation and want. Oh god is there want.

"Are you going to-" David starts, but Patrick is on him at the barest hint of an invitation. His hands stroke and grab and caress and he can't get enough.

David's arms wind around his neck as he drags him back down to lay on top of him and Patrick can't believe how lucky he is that he decided to stop at this motel for the night and opted to go to the bar instead of staying inside.

Patrick is content with what's happening, more than content. If all they do is just rut against each other and kiss for the whole night, this'll be the best night of Patrick's life. But David obviously has other plans, as his hands move to Patrick's ass, pulling him closer, illiciting a moan out of Patrick, making him thrust forward with force, with purpose. Patrick is hard and, now he knows for sure, so is David. Something in the back of his mind whispers at him that this should feel scary and wrong. But his body sings, a current of electricity running through him at every touch of skin on skin and he can't possibly imagine anything feeling more right.

David isn't wasting time, lips moving down Patrick's neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses, while he keeps pushing his hips up into Patrick, his hands pulling Patrick into him by his ass. Patrick is embarrassingly close to coming in his pants with the way things are going. So he tries to distract himself by making the gorgeous man under him feel as good as he possibly can.

He kisses David's chest, his lips brushing the soft hairs there and he wants to rub his face all over it. And then he realizes that nothing's stopping him so he does just that. He's rewarded with a giggle from David and he can't help the smile splitting his face in half in return. And then his lips find a nipple and David's not laughing anymore. Instead he holds Patrick's head close with both hands, short nails scratching at his scalp, writhing beneath him and arching into the touch. Oh god, he's perfect.

"You're perfect." Patrick's mouth repeats his thoughts out loud. And then it's like he can't stop himself, like a dam's been broken. "God, you're so beautiful. How is this real, how are you real?"

While he whispers praises into David's skin, he lets his fingers play with the man's nipples, pinching and tugging and rubbing over the tiny perky nubs.

He doesn't notice it at first, the way David's breathing is coming in short breaths and how he's shivering all over. He chalked it up to arousal at first, but David's fingers are clutching at him a bit too tightly, and the shivering feels a lot more like tremors.

When he tries to lift up to look at David he's met with resistance, David's fingers gripping him tight as his breathing becomes even more erratic.

"It's fine!" he doesn't sound fine. "I'm fine!" Patrick's sure now that he isn't. "Just keep going!"

Patrick gently pries David's fingers away from himself and lifts up to look David in the face. Which David instantly covers with his arms, letting out a sob.

"It's nothing. It's a panic attack. It'll pass so just-"

Patrick untangles himself from the man beneath him and hurries to the bathroom to fetch a glass of water. The moment he leaves David's body, the man curls in on himself on the small motel bed and lets out another choked off sob.

Patrick is crouching beside the bed, hovering uncertainty over David's shaking form.

"Hey, David? David, look at me."

David shakes his head, eyes screwed shut, but he does move his arms from his face and then, after a bit, he's peaking out at Patrick. Patrick smiles in relief.

Patrick guides David through the panic attack, breathing with him and pressing the cold glass to his forehead, and when the darkhaired man is sitting up on the bed, hands flying about as he assures Patrick that panic attacks are a real thing after he's just had one, Patrick knows he's alright.

That's when it registers that Patrick is sitting on the floor between David's splayed out legs, David leaning over him, and it takes his breath away. Just the pose and what it might entitle gives Patrick a thrill.

"...so really, it's not that weird to... What? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?"

Patrick grins wide as David touches his face, looking for some inexistent imperfection.

When David notices Patrick's grin he rolls his eyes but it's almost fond.

"If you're still up for it after my ungraceful display here, I'm in. So..." he trails off. Patrick is up for it. Not literally but he's certain it won't take long to get him there. Only David just had a panic attack and as much as Patrick would love to feel him against his skin and lips again, he knows that they have to at least discuss it.

Patrick braces himself on David's knees and gets up, moving to the nightstand on the other side of the bed. David's eyes trail his movements, not entirely sure what to make of it. Patrick doesn't miss his frown deepening when he procures the charger he promised David in the first place.

"Not what I had in mind but thank you, I guess."

"I'm so glad I offered. Always feels nice to get a sincere thanks you in return for a good deed." Patrick teases and David purses his lips, obviously trying not to smile.

"Well, I could be thanking you in a way a lot more pleasurable than this..." David shakes his shoulders in a little dance which should probably be ridiculous, but instead he finds it hot.

The air's caught in his lungs making Patrick clear his throat before answering.

"You had a panic attack from kissing me. Sorry if I'm not jumping at the opportunity here."

This gets a frustrated groan out of David. He still hasn't plugged in his phone, choosing to fiddle with the wire instead. He sits more comfortably on the bed, one leg folded under him, the other still on the floor, half turned to Patrick.

"This," he gestures with an open palm to indicate himself, the bed, the motel room, "Had nothing to do with you. It's a me thing. And I promise it won't happen again."

Patrick looks at him from his position standing at the other side of the bed, trying to figure David out. He just wants to join him back on it and get back to what they were doing, but he has to ask.

"Is it also your first time with a man?"

David lets out an exaggerated scoff.

"Um, excuse you I kissed like a thousand guys..." and then he trails off. "What do you mean also?"

Patrick feels the blush consume his face and he kind of wishes he could just burn right up, because this turned embarrassing fast. He's standing taller than David now, hovering above him, but he feels small all of a sudden.

"I, uh," no point in hiding it now that it's out of the bag. Might as well get it over with. He pictures David getting up, quickly gathering the clothes he's shed, picking up his shoes and slamming the door shut behind him. But it wouldn't be fair not to tell him. "You're- the first guy... I've ever kissed."

"Kissed?" David exclaims and Patrick's shoulders rise. "We've done a lot more than kiss." David drops the charger on the bed and crawls over the short distance to get to Patrick. "We've done more than kiss."

"You know, I think I noticed that." Patrick's really trying not to feel defensive right now but he doesn't think it's working.

"Are you okay? We probably shouldn't... I should. Go..." David isn't moving from the bed and Patrick reaches out to touch his shoulder, just in case. So he doesn't think of leaving.

When David stays in place and doesn't instantly bolt to leave, Patrick moves to sit on the bed beside him, hand trailing down his arm, from his shoulder, until it reaches his hand. David holds on and the squeeze he gives back is reassuring in a way Patrick can't form into words. It's quiet as they settle more comfortably against each other, just the rustling of sheets and soft breaths.

"I'm not good at this. I had a teenager school me on my relationships just a couple of weeks before."

Patrick opens his mouth to ask for more details but David shushes him with a finger to his mouth.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to have fun with you, from what already happened I know that we'd definitely have a fun time." Patrick is silent, waiting David out, hanging on to every word. "But I don't want your first experience to be something you regret. I can't have this on my conscience right now."

Patrick takes it as his queue to finally kiss David's soft lips again. He feels David sigh into the kiss and his hand cups Patrick's cheek. He'll have to move away to say what he needs to say, but he lets himself linger for a bit longer, just enjoying the feeling of David's lips and the rasp of his stubble. When he does withdraw David has his eyes closed for a breath too long after and it makes Patrick's chest swell with pride. Patrick squeezes David's hand in his.

"David, kissing you is probably the first thing I haven't regretted in a long long time." And it was true. He regretted leaving home, even if it was the right decision, he regretted unwittingly leading Rachel on for so many years, he regretted so many tiny turning points, possibilities, he didn't take, didn't even consider. But this? Kissing the most fascinating beautiful man he's ever seen? This he does not regret.

He watches David pulling his lips between his teeth, trying not to show his smile, but his eyes give him away. They shine with mischief and mirth.

"As long as you're sure," he murmurs, leaning in. When they kiss, David is smiling, and while it makes the kissing uncomfortable, feeling David's smile makes Patrick's heart sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!David has a panic attack when Patrick starts praising him during sex!! It's a short scene with little detail, but tell me if I need to add a "where it starts/stops" to the end notes.
> 
> *
> 
> I am not sure how many chapters I want this to be but it'll be at least four.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick wakes up early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny one. It got away from me a bit with the porn. But I still like it.

Patrick's phone on his bedside table says it's 5 am and while Patrick was always an early riser, that's early even for him. Especially if you considered that he went to sleep not that many hours ago. He lies in bed, unmoving, his left side is hotter than the rest of him because of the body pressed up there. The body of a man he met that very night and then proceeded to have the most mind-blowing sex of his life with. And all they did was give each other hand jobs. Patrick would be lying if he said he didn't expect more from yesterday, but he also, just maybe, wasn't really prepared for more so soon. Somehow David seemed to know all that. Knew just what Patrick needed and how to give it to him.

It was only awkward for a moment after, when David was putting his shirt back on, saying in a low whisper that he should go. Maybe he was right. He probably was. They didn't know each other, Patrick could've woken up to his money and possessions missing, David could've woken up dismembered (to which Patrick corrected him that he wouldn't really be waking up if that happened). After that they quickly decided that if they both were serial killers, them killing each other in their sleep would at least make for a fun headline (David did wake him up when Patrick was half asleep to make him promise he wasn't a killer, because David went and freaked himself out. Patrick found it entirely too cute, even considering the topic and his sleep being interrupted).

Which brings him to laying in bed, awake, overwhelmed and calm simultaneously. So at peace with himself and so thrilled by the possibility of David tucked into his side, of what he would be like in the morning, would he complain about morning breath but still kiss Patrick hello, would Patrick be allowed to touch him again? God, Patrick wanted to.

He turned his head to the side, watching David breathe. His face was mostly hidden and his dark hair looked incredibly fluffy and soft to the touch. Patrick wanted to touch it. Wanted to run his hands through it, tug on David's hair while David was nestled between his legs, crooked smile so close to where Patrick needed him... Patrick squeezes his eyes shut, pressing a palm to his hardening dick under the covers. Both men opted to sleep in their underwear and undershirts but it wouldn't take long to get rid of the clothes if they wanted a repeat of yesterday.

The scary part wasn't the sex fantasies, the desire. It was a weird but thrilling part. The thought of lounging in bed with David and doing nothing but trading lazy kisses, of bringing him breakfast in bed and spending the day locked in with the man in this sad motel room - this was scary.

Patrick could just chalk it up to David being the first man for him. To David being the first step he took in the right direction, his gateway to all things gay (and that was a weird word. Was Patrick gay? Was it okay for him to think it like that? Could one encounter just decide this for him?). But deep inside he knew it wasn't that. He knew a big part of him feeling so overwhelmingly happy had to do with David himself. And this was a scary thought. So instead, just for now, Patrick concentrated on the other side to it, fisting his cock and remembering what David's hand felt like on him not that long ago.

He's jerking his dick at a leisurely pace, content with just this for now, not chasing a final goal; when he feels David shuffling beside him, shifting and hiding his face further between Patrick's shoulder and the pillow.

"What time is it?" David's voice is low and muffled and Patrick thinks it must be rude and inappropriate to just lay there and jerk off, he's never done that before with either of his girlfriends, but he doesn't stop, instead twisting his wrist just so, letting out a soft moan.

"Almost six."

This time David groans loud and put upon. Patrick can't help but chuckle. He's about to suggest David go back to sleep, he could go on a run in the meantime, take a shower, get them breakfast. But David keeps mumbling about it being too early and Patrick being unfair, while reaching for Patrick's dick, wrapping his fingers loosely over Patrick's and thrusting his hips against Patrick's thigh.

Patrick feels David firming up against him while he pulls his hand away and lets David jerk him off. He just lays there and lets it happen for a while, enjoying the calm and softness of it all. But he's also bursting with the desire to-

"Can I suck your cock?" Patrick wanted it in his mouth since the moment he freed it from David's underwear yesterday. He doesn't feel guilty for asking. And judging by David's reaction, he wasn't going to protest.

"You want to?" David's voice is breathy and his pupils are blown as he stares at Patrick, eyes flitting between his eyes and lips. 

"I want to."

David presses a quick tight-lipped kiss to Patrick's lips before pushing the sheets off of them and turning to lay on his back, sliding off his underwear fast. Patrick doesn't waste time, moving with David, fitting his body against his, hesitating just a bit, before looking into David's eyes and seeing the heat in them. It's easy from that point on. He gives with abandon, achingly hard the whole time, turned on beyond reason by the sounds David makes and the feeling of him on his tongue.

David's hands never leave him, petting his face and hair, stroking the corners of his stretched out lips as Patrick tries to take more. David comes into Patrick's fist and Patrick leans back in to lick him clean, come-covered hand easing David through the aftershocks. David lets out choked off sobs above him but Patrick doesn't let up. He thinks he could just spend this whole day here, between David's legs. But David has other plans for him as he's pulling him up with surprising strength. David kisses him hard, licking into Patrick's mouth with purpose. David fucks him with his tongue, making Patrick shiver, imagining other things they could, maybe, some day, be doing.

In a fit of athleticism Patrick was definitely not expecting from him this early in the morning, David flips them over on the small motel bed, the both of them almost slipping and scrambling to stay on the bed instead of tumbling to the floor. They laugh into each other's skin, clutching each other tight, until David lifts up to hover over Patrick on his forearms. It knocks the breath right out of Patrick.

David is sleep-soft, his hair a lot messier than it was yesterday when Patrick first saw him. He's smiling without hiding. Patrick feels like his heart is entirely too big for his chest, like he wishes he could wake up to this smile directed at him every single day for the rest of his life. It's a scary thought to have so he surges up, kissing David with all he's got, so that his mouth doesn't let the words spill out.

David opens up to his kisses like this is the only thing he'd rather be doing. But it's definitely not, because Patrick feels a hand on him. It doesn't take long for him to come, too keyed up from sucking David off. David cleans him off with his tongue and Patrick's dick valiantly tries to get hard again.

Patrick watches David get up and strip off his shirt, now completely naked. Patrick unabashedly trails his body with his eyes, trying to remember every curve and angle. The places he's firm, soft. Where he has body hair, how he's trying to look mad but instead looks like something close to happy.

David spreads his arms out in an exaggerated shrug.

"Well, are you coming?"

Patrick lifts his eyebrows in question. He's pretty sure he missed something when he was busy memorising David's body.

"Shower." David explains in a condescending tone. "Then I go back to sleep and you don't wake me up unless there's food." he seems to stop to think something over. "Or, if you'd want to suck my cock to wake me up, we could work with that. But after that food still needs to happen."

Patrick promises that he'll be considerate of David's wishes and follows David into the small motel bathroom, unable and not wanting to hide just how big his smile is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some introspection, some feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing writes itself and I'm just letting it. So sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos! I am a bit overwhelmed but in a good way :)

There must've been perfect days in his life, there are. But when Patrick thinks of them they always include his parents, or cousins. It's never Rachel and it makes his stomach turn. It seems so obvious now, but it didn't then. He always thought that good and nice was good enough. That the fact that he didn't have the emotional capacity to feel was his problem. That when he told Rachel that he loved her, it was enough that the feeling wasn't a burning passion that consumed him whole. That kind of fire just burned out. What they had was sure and steady, or that's what he thought.

It's evening and he and David haven't left each other's side. David loves to eat, even if he complains about calories all the while. Without thinking Patrick slides over his own plate and his heart swells. From watching someone eat.

David seems to like touching. It's unclear if he likes touching in general or touching Patrick, but every brush of hand or shoulder bump feels amazing so Patrick doesn't think too much about the logistics.

David likes everything to be his way: from the way he styles his hair to the order in which he stores toiletries. But in bed he doesn't care if it gets messy. Seems to like it even. So Patrick makes the next blowjob he gives him as messy and sloppy as he can. He even manages to take more of David in this time, gagging around him but not letting it deter him.

David loves to suck cock. Or he makes it a very believable act. Because Patrick has gotten blowjobs, but not one has been as enthusiastic or satisfying as this one. It's over way too fast but this means he gets to kiss David again and kissing David is becoming his favorite pastime.

Patrick thinks he might be in love with David.

It's so dumb and he doesn't believe in love at first sight. Or falling in love just after a day spent together. He always rolled his eyes at the romantic movies Rachel loved so much, claiming them unrealistic. She tended to just agree with him on that one, always comparing it to how they came to be together, after being friends and sharing interests and knowing each other well enough, unlike the people in those movies. Patrick doesn't like to admit to being wrong. He doesn't like being wrong, period. But he thinks he gets it now. With David rifling through his clothes that they got earlier that day from a broken down truck (Patrick asked if they should call someone to get it, and David shrugged, admitting that they probably should. But Patrick's phone was off. And David's was still uncharged, so they just packed the bags into Patrick's car and left. Neither of them mentioned it again). David's picking out something black out of the other black things, and Patrick thinks he gets being in love. He now has a perfect day that doesn't have anything to do with family. It has to do with a man he knows next to nothing about, but knows everything that's really important.

David seems to have finally picked out a black sweater that was satisfactory enough, because he's shucking the one he's currently wearing and putting the other one on. It has a white lightning bolt in the front and maybe it's been worth picking out because David looks breathtaking in it. Or it's just David. Patrick wonders how long he's supposed to wait before David deems it correct for Patrick to get him out of it.

They go out to get dinner, where they talk about their "past lives" without sharing too many details. It's like the both of them are cautious not to burst the bubble they've created for themselves. Patrick tells David about his ex fiance. David tells him about sleeping with his best friend and ruining their friendship. Patrick talks about not wanting to return just yet, even with the revelation meeting David has brought on, about looking for someplace quiet to settle and just be himself. David talks about his family losing all their money and moving to someplace quiet and how Patrick and he should just move to New York together. This seems to be some kind of self-deprecating joke and it makes David look sad, so Patrick jokes about writing a song about David's sweaters (when they were using Patrick's car to get David's stuff, David had a tiny freak out over seeing the guitar in the back seat and Patrick found an endless resource for teasing him). It works just as planned and has David complaining about improv and acoustic songs and cute guys that just had to have this big ugly secret that ruined everything.

David still kisses him when they get back to the room so it must not have ruined _everything_.

When they have sex that night it feels a bit like they're living on borrowed time. Not that Patrick would say no to sex with David, but if they both were at a more stable place in their lives, Patrick likes to imagine that they would be content with just laying side by side, preferably in a bed bigger than this one. Patrick wonders if David enjoys romantic comedies. He wants David to show him his favorite movies and make out while David pauses them, because Patrick feels he's a kind of person that would pause a movie to make out. Patrick gets a crazy desire to take David to a drive in movie theatre and see what happens.

When David presses a dry finger against Patrick's hole, Patrick comes. He wants David inside him but it's easier in theory. David fucks his thighs, pressing Patrick into the mattress, face pushed down into the pillow, David draped over his back as he fucks him. Patrick imagines that it's the real deal, that David's inside his ass, forcing him open, thick and hard. If Patrick could get hard again, he would.

The motel bed is small and it gives Patrick a perfect excuse to hold David even closer, as they're falling asleep.

***

It's midday and they have yet to leave the bed. They had pizza for breakfast and jerked each other off in the shower for dessert. Patrick's dick aches a bit from all the activities it's been subjected to over the past day and a half but he's not going to complain.

David has a morning and nightly skincare routine and this morning Patrick spent the half hour David was opening and closing different vials, applying creams, serums and whatnot, sitting behind David in the small space of the motel bathroom, mesmerized. Once David was done, Patrick didn't waste any time dragging him back to bed.

Their limbs were all loosely tangled, hands touching without any intentions, just learning each other's bodies through touch. Patrick can't remember a day with a lover where he was just content to lay in bed and do nothing. There was always something else to do, something important and urgent. His brain would always come up with a reason to get out. Lazing around just wasn't like Patrick. But maybe it was. Maybe the difference was having David in bed with him.

There's a knock at the door and Patrick frowns at David, who's mirroring his expression. There's no room service to speak of at this motel so someone knocking is unexpected, to say the least.

"David, son, you there?" comes a voice from the other side and then there's more knocking. Loud and insistent.

David pulls a face but he doesn't move from his spot in bed. Patrick stays quiet, not sure how to proceed, lifting his eyebrows in question. He watches David throw his head back, burrowing it in the pillow, screwing his eyes shut. And then he's getting up, looking for clothes.

"David, I'm here!" and this must be his mother.

"David, it's us, we've come to take you home!"

"Stop yelling 'David'! I'll be out in a minute!"

The knocking only gets more insistent after that and David groans, pulling on a black hoodie and fishing out a pair of sunglasses.

"I've been worried sick, dear! Where's David? Or his bags?" his mother shouts theatrically.

"I texted Alexis!" David yells back, taking his time tying the shoes he chose for this outfit. Patrick has gotten dressed much faster, so now he's just standing in the middle of the room, watching David and listening to this bizarre interaction.

Patrick feels his heart sinking. He knew that this thing was temporary, but he didn't expect it to end so soon or so abruptly. And now David's family is on the other side of the door and Patrick irrationally wants to barricade it and cling to David so he can't go.

"Sorry for not responding to, like, one text, David!"

"David, let us help you with your bags!" his mother keeps trying to soldier through, but gets interrupted once again.

"David?" Alexis yells again. David goes to the bathroom mirror to fix his hair just right, instead of opening the door. He yells back a 'what?!'

"Hey, you remember Mutt? It has gotten more complicated!"

"What happened?" satisfied with his look, David comes out of the bathroom just to plop on the bed. Patrick watches him with raised eyebrows and a million questions bubbling to the surface on his tongue.

"We slept together!"

Patrick hears David's father reprimanding this Alexis girl and telling her that they can discuss all of it later, and he can't take it anymore. He strides to the door and pulls it open with maybe a little more force than necessary.

He's met with two very familiar faces he definitely didn't expect to see here, nor anywhere, if he was being honest. He remembers them both from his days working at Rose video. Johnny and Moira Rose. Mr Rose's expressive eyebrows are so much like David's when he looks in shock at Patrick, that Patrick almost laughs. Mrs Rose doesn't seem to care that instead of her son she was greeted by a stranger. She forces her way inside and then Patrick hears her squeal 'My baby!' He turns around to see the reunion, but David is all alone, lounging on the bed, and Mrs Rose is clutching David's toiletries bag close to her chest.

Alexis is smiling at Patrick and offering her hand for him to kiss or shake, he's not sure. She introduced herself all flirty, even though Patrick has already heard her name yelled through the door and heard her talking about sleeping with someone nicknamed Mutt.

He notices David glare at her, baring his teeth.

"What if I'm not ready to come home?" David asks and Patrick's heart stutters inside his ribcage. This is probably a bad decision, both for him and David, but he wants to stride up to David, take him by the hand and tell his family that David's staying. Maybe they can have one more day together...

David's family is now all crowded inside the small motel room. He should've straightened out the sheets, he got so caught up in the Roses talking through the door that he didn't even think about it. And now Alexis is miming something suggestive at a scowling David and David's father is shuffling uncomfortably, while trying to give Patrick a friendly smile.

"Patrick here took really good care of me while I was all alone in a time of need." David practically recites and it makes Patrick blush, thinking of all the ways he took care of David in bed.

The unfortunate implication isn't lost on David's family too, as Mr Rose pulls the most uncomfortable looking smile Patrick has ever seen.

"Well, thank you for taking care of our David during such a difficult time..."

"Did he take good care of you, David? How good was it? Was it good, David? Did you enjoy yourself?" Alexis pokes David on the nose while he growls and tries to swat away her hands. Patrick is rooted to the floor, his face a bright red.

"Thank you, Pat..." David's mother starts, still clutching at the bag. David mutters 'Patrick' and even if his eyes are hidden by the dark glasses Patrick is pretty sure he rolled them in exasperation. "-rick. Patrick. For taking such good care of our possessions." She might really be here for the bag, Patrick finally pieces together when she sweeps a hand to indicate David as an afterthought. "I hope it wasn't too much of an imposition."

Patrick shakes his head in a no.

"I loved having him here." Patrick feels like he has to defend David, make sure these people know he's worth coming for. That if Patrick's going to hand David over to them, they're going to take care of him. And it's a stupid thought, they're his family. Of course they care for him. But Patrick is a bit overwhelmed and a lot embarrassed and it's probably the last he'll ever see of David Rose, so he'll think about how stupid he sounded later.

"I'm sure you did." Alexis laughs, getting David to swat at her from his position on the bed.

"Pat... rick. I hope it won't be too much of an encumbrance to get you to help us with David's bags." his mother says in a way that probably means that none of them plan on helping him.

Patrick walks up to David and looks down at him.

"What?" If Patrick's heart wasn't breaking into a million pieces right now, he would've smiled at David playing coy. Instead he just pats David on the thigh and goes to grab one of David's multiple bags, stored in the corner of the room. He hears David's put upon sigh as he gets up and follows to help him.

Mr Rose fetches the car, parking it close by the door and Patrick and David make quick work of loading the bags in the trunk. Even if David complains the whole time and most of the work is still done by Patrick.

"We could take Pat for lunch as a thank you." Alexis suggests and Patrick doesn't know if he'd like to prolong this torture, even if it meant being near David a bit longer.

"Oh, we're not doing 'Pat'."

"I don't know, I think someone's doing Pat."

Patrick's face is aflame as he watches the Rose siblings bicker and chase each other around the car.

And then Mr Rose is shaking his hand and they're all getting in the car and it's only David that's left in front of him. Should he kiss him? He shouldn't, right?

"This was... Fun." David says, offering his hand to shake. And Patrick doesn't want to shake his hand after all that they've done together, he wants to drag David back inside, lock the door and not let go. And these are some serial killer-y thoughts if Patrick's ever had any.

They shake hands, the touch lingering a bit too long, but not long enough. And then David is getting into the car-

"Wait!" Patrick hears his own voice. Mrs Rose is telling her husband to drive, leave, hurry, in a stage whisper, but David shushes her and pokes his head out of the back seat. "Just- I'll be back in a second."

Patrick rushes inside and fumbles for a pen and paper. The pen won't write so he leaves an ugly scribble where he tries to make it work. Patrick rushes out, half expecting the Roses to be gone. But they're still there and he lets out a sigh of relief.

"I know how you hate using your phone," he starts, watching the familiar crooked smile form on David's face, "But just in case you ever turn it on again."

Patrick hands David the piece of paper with his phone number and their fingers brush against each other. And then David's gone.

The car leaves a cloud of dust in the air and Patrick stands outside watching it settle. And then some more.

He leaves the motel that same day, unable to stay in the space he shared with David all by himself. It's too quiet, too empty. Too lonely.

He turns on his phone after so many days. It's not like he's expecting a text from David so soon, if ever, but when it doesn't come he can't help but feel the disappointment.

Patrick answers a couple of messages from his mom and his cousins, deletes every message from Rachel without reading or listening to them. He should call her. Tell her about himself. But it feels too new and too scary. And too much like disappointing her. Maybe, if David and he were together, were boyfriends, it would've given him the courage to come out. He's not taking anything back, he's not going to be living in denial about who he is. But he also, maybe, just needs some time to get to know himself. Figure himself out with this new revelation. So it's okay if he doesn't tell anyone. He'll have plenty of time in the future.

Patrick is driving down the road, with no direction in mind, just driving farther away from home, when he hears a ping of a message. He glances down at his phone to see whom it's from and when it doesn't flash with any familiar name, just an unknown number, Patrick has to drive off the side of the road and stop the car. His hands are shaking and he is scared and excited both at the same time. It's not him. It can't be David. It can't be David, right?

**got home safe. my sister stole my bed!**

Patrick's heart is doing summersaults inside his chest as he clutches the phone a bit too hard in his hand. He spends the next ten minutes composing a reply and when he hits send, he saves the number into his phone. The text doesn't even mean anything. They will most likely never meet again. David probably has a thousand guys lining up to sweep him off his feet wherever he is, in a place Patrick's not. But he took the time to send this text to Patrick. And it gives him hope. He doesn't know what he's hoping for, but his chest feels lighter for the first time since he watched David drive away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick meets David after three months apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're moving at a very different pace than in the show but I feel like in this version it's appropriate. I hope you like it!

It takes almost two months for Patrick to settle. It takes two weeks to find a place to stay and a job. But it takes longer to feel somewhat at peace at the place he was staying at.

He's renting a room from a man called Ray Butani who knows nothing about personal space, but is friendly and helpful and caring, and gave Patrick a job and a place to stay when he didn't have to. Patrick misses his privacy sometimes but it's a price he's willing to pay.

Patrick texts David to let him know he's found the little town he was looking for for a new start and they text back and forth for a bit after that. They don't text often and usually when they do it's about something trivial. Patrick wants to ask David about his day, wants to ask him if he thinks they could ever meet again, wants to ask him if he still thinks about Patrick the way Patrick thinks of him. But instead he writes about his landlord bursting into his room at eight in the morning to offer him breakfast.

Patrick has a photo of a cedar chest on his phone. David keeps saying he made it but Patrick doesn't really believe it.

Patrick has sent David a photo of his shirts and jackets one time, asking for advice on what to wear. He didn't really need the advice but at that time he was desperate to hear from David and he knew that he could lure him in with the promise of giving fashion advice. This wasn't Patrick's proudest moment.

Patrick thinks of trying to go on a date with someone, he downloads a dating app. But he can't go through with it, and not because there's only a handful of guys interested in other guys on the app. He should be going on dates but he just wants to go on very specific dates. With a very specific person.

It's not a healthy way of thinking, but he can't make himself stop.

Another month passes by and Patrick is desperately searching for something he could send David in a text so they could laugh at it's ridiculousness together. Not that there aren't a lot of ridiculous things in Schitt's Creek, but he also doesn't want David to make fun of him for staying in this town. It's all entirely too stressful and uncalled-for.

Ray showed Patrick an amazing place just outside of town and Patrick has been coming ever since. It's a beautiful trail leading to a clearing overlooking a magnificent view. Patrick has a couple of photos on his phone which he shared with his parents, but he doesn't think David would appreciate the aesthetic.

It's a weekend, so Patrick took his time today, just climbing and exploring and taking in the view and the fresh air. It was noon before he even knew it and the trail mix he had with him was not enough. Patrick usually preferred to cook at Ray's, but his stomach was growling and he really needed something in it now. That's why he stopped by the only cafe in town. Hey, maybe he could send David a photo of this place, or the enormous menus. David was bound to get a kick out of it.

Patrick is waiting for Twyla, the waitress with her head in the clouds, to get his order when he hears it:

"Patrick?!" he hasn't heard this voice in so long but there's no mistaking it for anyone else's.

Patrick whirls around and there he is. Wearing a black sweater with a white print on it, sitting behind a table with a girl Patrick doesn't know. And why would he even know her, his brain supplies. But he doesn't care about her right now. All he can think about, all he can look at, is David. David getting up to wave at him awkwardly and take a few hesitant steps towards Patrick.

Patrick closes the distance between them and his body aches to touch David, but he's dirty and sweaty and he knows David will not appreciate a hug from him right now.

"Are you stalking me?" David inquires. "Because it's only twenty three percent cute. Maybe twenty eight. But all the other percents are kind of creepy."

"I'm glad you have your priorities straight. And no, I'm not stalking you. I live here."

"Who's this?" the girl is up and has joined them by David's side. Patrick hasn't even noticed her coming up to them.

"It's um, it's, you remember when-" Patrick wants to hear how David introduces him but he looks uncomfortable, so Patrick decides to interject.

"I'm Patrick." Patrick offers his hand.

"Stevie." 

Patrick has to summon all of his willpower not to do a double take. It can't be Stevie, David's best friend he talked about. Because Stevie can't be a girl, because David was... Patrick realizes that it never came up. While Patrick thought that it was pretty obvious, they never talked about their sexualities. Was David bi?

Thankfully, Twyla saves him from delving any further into this by calling him up to get his order. David follows him and Stevie follows David. Funny thing, all that Patrick wanted for the past few months was to see David, and now all he wants is for David to leave him alone. Just for a bit, just to collect his thoughts. It's not too much to ask, is it?

"Stevie and I were just finishing over there," Stevie interjects, saying they've only got started with lunch. David glares at her. "So how about you join me?"

Asking to repack everything into to-go containers right now would be rude, right?

"Yeah, okay. Lead the way."

David prances over to the table he was sitting at and Patrick takes a deep breath, bracing himself. Only then does he notice David's friend watching him intently. Patrick coughs, masking his embarrassment and strides after David, sitting across from him.

"What'chu wearing? Doesn't look very..." Stevie squints at Patrick from beside him. She doesn't finish the sentence, David waving his arms in front of their faces to pull focus to himself.

"It's very sporty spice, that's a thing. Some people can pull it off."

Patrick can't help but smile into his hand.

"I'm very glad my fashion choices are appreciated." he allows himself to take a nice long look at David. "You look good."

David blushes and rolls his eyes, feigning coyness. "Oh, this little thing. I didn't even, where did I, um, where did I even get this sweater, Stevie, do you remember?" He fiddles with the fork, dropping it and picking it up again to twist it in his fingers.

Patrick turns to look at Stevie and her amused expression.

"What kind of spice are you?" Patrick asks.

"Oh, the perpetually single one."

This makes Patrick laugh and it becomes easier after that. Patrick can see why this girl is David's best friend. She's got this dark self-deprecating sense of humor David seems to favor and she's not afraid of saying what she's thinking. The three of them eat their lunch all the while exchanging barbs and joking around, David stealing most of Patrick's food by the end of their meal.

"We should do this again sometime." Patrick says when they stop outside of the cafe, before parting ways.

"This town is entirely too small for us not to run into each other again, so if you were trying to be courteous, the joke's on you."

They shake hands with Stevie and David gives Patrick a quick hug before Patrick leaves in the opposite direction from the two.

He sits there, in his parked car, just breathing. The meeting is floating around in his head, pushing around thoughts and feelings. David was definitely not horrified to see him but he also wasn't that excited. Did Patrick look as excited as he felt? Was Stevie able to tell? At this point he's pretty sure she could tell everything he was feeling just from looking at him. But he wasn't sure how she'd use the information. Mostly for her own entertainment, by the looks of it.

Patrick's phone buzzes with a text and he fetches it out of his jean pocket.

It's from David.

**what's your address**

***

Patrick's straddling David on the edge of the bed in a room with floral wallpaper and at least six ceramic birds in it. He expected David to complain about the set-up. Instead, right from the door, David was lazer-focused only on Patrick. They somehow made it to Patrick's rented room in one piece and with all of their clothes still on, but once the door clicked shut behind them David was unbuttoning Patrick's shirt, sliding it down Patrick's arms and then getting him rid of the tee under it. David shucks his sweater a lot less carefully than he did back at the motel. He's still cautious of where it lands, but he doesn't even try to fold it and this makes Patrick feel like David really wants him. If the kisses and the touches weren't enough to give him a hint.

"How- uh, how have you been?" Patrick says because it's polite and not like they could discuss everything in front of Stevie. But he's also pushing David onto the bed and framing his legs with his thighs, hands tangling in David's perfectly styled hair as he sits on top of David.

"Mmkay how about we shelf this discussion till after we've made each other come?" David suggests instead, pulling him closer into his body and licking into Patrick's mouth with determination.

When David's mouth trails down his jaw to bite and lick at his neck, Patrick gasps and grinds down hard. He thinks he could come just from this. He jerked off a lot thinking about David, his body, his mouth, his eyes, but fantasy doesn't compare to the real deal.

"I think I can manage that." Patrick breathes against David's temple. David is holding him close by the ass, helping Patrick move against him. They should slow down and discuss boundaries, talk about what it means for the both of them, see if they're on the same page about it...

"I want you to fuck me." Patrick hears his own voice form the words without giving them permission to spill out like that. David freezes beneath him, head tucked into the nook between Patrick's neck and shoulder where he was worrying a mark into Patrick's skin. When David lifts his head his eyes are all pupil and his mouth is hanging open.

Patrick's been researching. And some of the research he did included practical... exercises. He didn't get to go beyond his own fingers but he was pretty sure that having David inside of him would be a thousand times better.

"Are- are you sure?" David asks, eyes not leaving Patrick's. And right now, in this moment, Patrick doesn't care if this'll mean something entirely different for David than it does him. He just wants.

"Yes, David. I want to feel your cock deep inside me."

David throws his head back, screwing his eyes shut, one of his hands coming up to fan his face the way Patrick's learned David does when he's overwhelmed. It makes Patrick feel bold.

"Are you gonna give it to me?"

David makes a sound deep inside his throat at that.

"Up, up, get up!" he commands, lightly slapping Patrick's denim-clad butt. Patrick does as told and David makes quick work of his belt, unfastening his pants next and dragging them down to Patrick's ankles. David's face is right in front of Patrick's crotch and he watches David hungrily lick his lips. The hottest part is that it isn't for show, that he knows David really wants this.

David leans in and nuzzles Patrick's clothed erection before biting at the hem of Patrick's briefs and pulling them away from his skin.

"Patrick! I've come home early and since you're here also, what do you say we watch a movie and have some homemade popcorn?!" Ray's voice is loud and cheerful, coming from the first floor and moving closer and closer as he's no doubt coming to check in on Patrick to make sure he wasn't lonely.

David spits out the elastic of Patrick's underwear and his eyes are as wide as saucers. Patrick's sure he's matching David's deer in the headlights expression himself. He's scrambling to pull his jeans back up and David is lunging for his sweater when the door to Patrick's room bursts open.

Ray pauses whatever it was he was saying to take in the room.

"David! How nice to see you here! Gentlemen, with both of you here I simply must insist we watch a movie together!" His smile doesn't falter.

***

Patrick's not surprised when David doesn't stay for the movie. It's scary, to think that he screwed up his chances with the gorgeous man. But it's not long before he's getting a text where David tells him to hold that thought, because they were going to revisit it when they could manage some privacy.

They text all through the movie Ray put on and Patrick can't remember anything but the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've made it longer. But then it was between that and posting.  
As always, sorry for any mistakes!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David's pov.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I'm trying to figure out the timeline but at this point I'm just making it work for myself

David was shaken from staring at his phone by Stevie waving a bottle of red in his face, literally shaking him by the shoulder at the same time. He snatched the bottle from her and took a big swig.

"Just call him. We could all hang out. And he could look really dumb when drunk but if you don't call him you'll never find out." Stevie looks a little lost by the end of the sentence, trying to piece together if what she said made sense. David is honestly surprised that it somewhat did. He was not going to tell her that though.

"He doesn't do stuff like this."

"What, he doesn't drink?"

"Yes. He doesn't drink." David measures Stevie with a look. "Not on the floor of a motel room he doesn't."

"You would know."

"What does that even mean?"

This pointless back and forth has been going on for quite some time, and David isn't talking only about today. Stevie has been on his case ever since David called out Patrick's name in Cafe Tropical. And as much as he tried to hide whatever this thing with Patrick was or wasn't, Stevie knew him too well.

Pretty soon all of Schitt's Creek knew, and the news were starting to spread to Elmdale (Patrick drove him to work like one time, alright, maybe two times. Fine, David used the chance to be alone with Patrick in his car at any possible opportunity. And maybe Patrick spent some time teasing David about what he'd done with the store. And maybe after one joke too many Patrick let David pick out a sweater for him, a lovely black-gray piece that went well with Patrick's blue palette. And maybe they made out in the dressing rooms after, what of it?). Everybody knew, except David. David didn't have a clue what they were doing.

Patrick seemed like a genuine kind of guy, but he also told David about having a fiance back home. The fact that he was newly out of the closet didn't calm David's nerves. He's been someone's experiment far too many times to not be at least a little bit nervous.

It didn't help that they didn't discuss the thing between them. Was it casual? Was Patrick serious about David? Was David supposed to be the adult here and bring it up? Because that wasn't fair and he did not concent to that.

David would never admit it out loud (fine, he maybe talked about it to Stevie over a blunt), but he was thankful for the time Patrick's landlord walked in on them. Because after not seeing Patrick for months and having him right there in front of him, saying the things that he was saying... David is pretty sure they would've ended up regretting whatever it was they were going to do. It's just that Patrick sounded so sure, and David didn't want to disappoint him. It's a force of habit, doing anything your current lover asks of you. It's desperate and clingy and not something David wants to be. And if he went down that path with Patrick, he's pretty sure it's where it all would've ended. Maybe a couple more kisses and quickies, but it would end sooner rather than later. And with Patrick... David didn't want it to end. It was a scary thought, one he was able to repress most of the time, but it was always there, in the back of his mind.

He didn't want to pretend he was okay with a casual thing. He didn't want to be in an open relationship. He didn't want Patrick to want anyone else but him. Because he didn't want anyone else but Patrick. And it was scary.

The thing with Stevie taught him something (though he was never giving her the satisfaction of having that knowledge), just being in Schitt's Creek has made David a different person. Still an extremely stylish and breathtakingly suave person, but still. A person with a job and a friend that wasn't with him for his money (maybe was with him for the sweaters she was allowed to wear but she only wore his stuff two times and both were to tease him). A person with, maybe, a boyfriend? So David still had to figure out the last part. He was going to. Really. Definitely. Sometime soon. In the next week tops.

It was easier when David thought he'd never meet Patrick again. That way it was a good couple of days with a sweet boy away from the shitshow that was his life. Now - he actually had to deal with things. And Patrick was such a good person David was sure he would take care of David, would take care of things for David. And David couldn't have that, no matter how much he wanted to just give up the responsibilities and be taken care of.

So when he really wanted to call Patrick and tell him about his dad asking for all of his money, he forced the impulse down, only complaining a week later when he had to pass up buying a beautiful sweatshirt with an asymmetrical hem line and a subtle geometrical print.

When he had to babysit for his boss he tamped down the desire to call Patrick for help because he knew Patrick would come to help him. And David knew himself well enough to know that five minutes in he'd push the responsibility on Patrick. And he didn't want Patrick to see that side of him.

And when Wendy was in trouble, and David knew Patrick could've helped, he made the stupidest decision to try and help her on his own. To prove to himself that he could do it. And that he was capable of helping another human being. And that maybe he was worthy of Patrick. When David managed to pull it off he instantly called Patrick and they celebrated over a bottle of wine and mozzarella sticks at the cafe. It seemed like Patrick was genuinely proud of him, even if David was now out of a job.

As time went by their time alone got to be less and less, between David looking for a job (or pretending to be looking), and Patrick's schedule, and David's family drama that was neverending, it seemed; they had time for tiny cute dates, but nothing more. Having Patrick's underwear between his teeth that one time was as far as they've gotten since that time at Ray's. David's previous partners always ditched him if they didn't get what they wanted, and Patrick clearly expressed his wants. It was just a matter of time before Patrick realized he had a lot more options than David, options with jobs and their own place and far less picky than David, and would move on. So David needed to at least give him what he wanted.

So as each date ended with them making out in Patrick's car, groping each other over the clothes if they were feeling especially on edge that night, David was counting the hours before Patrick told him it was over.

And then Ray left for some business convention. So this was it. They were going to have sex today. And then it will be over. David didn't want it to be over. When they were making plans for a sleepover instead of being happy about finally getting the privacy, David felt like he was going to hurl. When Alexis made fun of him while he was getting ready, he didn't even have the power in him to snark back. He still did, but he wasn't at his top game.

David wore one of his favorite softest sweaters, as much for Patrick as for himself, because he'd need the comfort of the material after he'd leave to get back to the motel. His jeans were snug and hugged him in all the right places. For shoes he chose the less stylish but easier to toe off option. David was standing before the mirror, smoothing his brow, when his phone started ringing. He grabbed his overnight bag and was rushing outside but Alexis beat him to the door.

David did his best to not have his family and Patrick in the same room. His family was at best a little too much and David didn't want Patrick to have another reason to end it on the lists he most likely made on neat stationery paper. And while Stevie still managed to weasel her way into their dates and apparently is now in a text relationship with Patrick, there's only so much Patrick can handle.

"Mom! Dad! David's boyfriend's here!"

Oh this was evil. He was so getting at Alexis for this!

In absolute mortification David rushed out to try and convince Patrick to stay inside his car and just drive, but good pure Patrick was a gentleman and he wasn't going to leave without saying hello first.

"Why hello!" his mother was using her television's Moira Rose voice and was dressed in full gear, wearing Maxine, the platinum blonde bob, and an elegant Tom Ford piece. She looked stunning and he'd be the first complimenting her on her look, if they weren't trapped in this nightmare of a situation.

David scratched at Patrick's shoulder, pawing at him for lack of anything else to do. This was out of his hands now. The Roses were prepared.

"Nice- nice to finally meet you again, Patrick. Stevie tells me you're treating our David well."

David's jaw drops. That's it, he doesn't have a best friend anymore.

Patrick walks towards his father and they shake hands, then the ritual is repeated with both Rose women.

"Alright, now that that's over with, were going to go." David states matter-of-factly. "Lots of plans, busy night..."

"Ew, David! We don't need to hear that!"

David mouths as an aggressive a "shut up" at Alexis as he can muster.

Patrick isn't at all as distressed as he needs to be for this shitshow. He's actually smiling!

"Come in, come in, we've got tea and pastries." his mother beckons and Patrick, poor sweet Patrick, just follows her inside.

***

The evening is a disaster. His father talks about safe sex, his mother won't shut up about her career and Alexis keeps coming up with embarrassing stories about David. He thought the childhood ones were bad, but then she starts talking about his exes and no, this is worse.

Patrick just gobbles it all up, somehow derailing his father trying to talk the logistics of gay sex, Patrick knows some of his mother's flicks so he easily talks about that, and when he listens to Alexis, he doesn't seem disgusted with David, which: he's either a very good actor, or a very good person.

When his mother starts to sing, David gets up from the table with the ratty old chair screeching against the floor. That's it. He draws the line at public singing.

David forces Patrick out from the table and pulls him away and out the door, but not before Patrick is made to promise another meet up, not as rushed as this one.

Once they're in the car and safely out on the road, David finally breathes out.

"So sorry for all of that. I swear I had no hand in it."

Patrick just chuckles: "It's fine. Being around a family feels good. I miss my mom and dad and while they're nothing like your parents, it still felt homey and nice."

"Mmmkay, I'll let you believe I'm buying this." David isn't sure if he actually does. There's no reason for Patrick to lie. But feeling anything homey with the Rose family seems like a bit of a stretch. "Anyway, who's feeling sexy?"

They're entering Ray's driveway and David is ready to make Patrick forget all about the disastrous start of their evening together.

"Yeah, about that..." David's heart sinks and he desperately hopes his face doesn't show it.

"Let's go inside first." Patrick says and David nods, trying to hold back the things bubbling up to the surface. Trying not to just run away before he hears the rejection that's about to come.

Patrick asks him if he wants anything to drink before they head up, but David just wants to get it over with.

When they're upstairs, door closed behind them, floral patterned wallpaper assaulting David's senses, Patrick sits at the edge of the bed, but David is restless. He can't seem to calm down and he just paces from side to side until Patrick gets up and physically stops him, with his hands on David's sides.

Patrick forces him to look down at him with a few gentle nudges and a soft "David", before kissing David on the lips. The kiss is quick and the opposite of filthy but it makes David calm down a little.

"I'm sorry about Alexis calling you m-my boyfriend," David gets tongue-tied and the word comes out shaky and a few syllables too long.

Patrick just looks at him with those big brown eyes and sits with him on the bed.

"I thought that's what we are?"

David feels like there's a huge lump in his throat and he's biting on a smile. It's all very nerve wracking.

"Yeah, that would be correct." David nods, winding his arms around Patrick's shoulders as much as to ground himself as to just touch Patrick. He thinks he manages to sound a lot more confident than he feels.They kiss, short and sweet, the kiss ending too soon.

"So, about this night..."

"Mhmm, this night..." David purrs in answer, arms unwinding and hands going to massage lightly at Patrick's shoulders. He's so not over the fact that Patrick called them boyfriends, but it's making him a little bit more secure about today and what it might mean for him to actually fuck Patrick.

"I don't think we should sleep together."

Okay, David's head was going to explode. His hands still on Patrick's shoulders and his whole body kind of freezes up. He didn't take Patrick to be one for mind games but god knows he was wrong about people before.

"So, let me get this straight." David feels his hands flying about but he has no control over them whatsoever. "You don't want to have sex with me," to this Patrick mutters a "sorry" but David soldiers on. "But you called us boyfriends. Which means you... want to date me..? But sleep with other people?"

"What? No, why would I do that? No, no. It's not that at all!"

David doesn't understand what's going on. Patrick looks sincere but what he's saying just doesn't go with his sweet face and honest wide eyes.

"So... when you said you thought we... were boyfriends," David tries to piece it together. "You meant we _were_ boyfriends. As in, the past tense."

"No, David!" Patrick grabs him by the shoulders and tries to force him to read his mind through his beautiful eyes or something. "This is not what I meant at all."

"What did you mean then? Because I'm stress-sweating and this is a Saint Laurent."

Patrick smiles faintly and looks down at his lap, before taking a deep breath. He's looking back up at David but his ears are a lot more pink now than they were before. He has to cough first, to force the words out.

"Y-you remember last time we were here?" David nods, waiting for where this will lead. "And I, um, I said a bunch of things back then." David remembered those things. He often thought about those things. Alone in the shower. Patrick is silent, seemingly picking the right words. Sitting still and waiting isn't something David's good at, but he does his best, only fidgeting a little.

"I _would_ like for t-the things. To happen. But I might've gone over my head that time."

David cocks a quizzical eyebrow at Patrick, scared to open his mouth.

"I was just not expecting to see you. And I've missed you and having you so close..." Patrick coughs into his hand, his whole face aflame. David feels his own cheeks getting hot from the ugly blush he's definitely sporting after hearing Patrick say he's missed him. "But I need things to- to slow down. I'm just not ready yet and I get it if you want more, you're a lot more experienced in this area than I am and you can't be happy with holding back like that. But I need more time. Because it's still all very new to me and I hope it's okay with you."

David feels the breath he was holding all this time finally leave him as his shoulders slump in relief.

"Patrick. We can do whatever you'd like. At whatever pace you feel comfortable with. And if you think you'd like to try something but then you realize you don't, just tell me to stop and I will."

David is trying to sound as sincere as he can, because somehow it's very important that Patrick trusts him. He wants Patrick to know that he's safe with David. It must work, because Patrick is giving him a tiny smile that only grows as they gaze at each other.

"What do you say we get out of these clothes and see where the night takes us?" Patrick doesn't sound as sure as his words might imply but his eyes are flitting between David's eyes and lips so David is happy to lean in and let his boyfriend take whatever he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt like it needed another perspective to go more smoothly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one. But I like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really wanted to capture David before season 03 with this work, where he's still somewhat insecure and unsteady. Which, at some points, just felt wrong, because Patrick and he are supposed to just work effortlessly, you know? But all in all I'm happy with how this turned out and I hope I did them justice.
> 
> Enjoy!

The night doesn't take them any further than they went before, sexually. Not to say that it wasn't good, because if David had to rate it on a scale it would be pretty high up, with some of his best experiences (which were quickly being filled up by his time with Patrick); but it involves a lot more intimacy and reminds David of the day in the motel outside of Schitt's Creek when they just talked, without fear of being known.

Patrick's no longer a stranger who could just forget David and dismiss all that he's told him when David left, but instead of choking on words and chosing which parts of himself to bare, David keeps feeling safe with Patrick by his side. Knows that Patrick will never tell anyone about the things he's heard in the quiet of his rented bedroom, with hands roaming and softly scratching patterns across bared skin.

The thing that does make David choke up is Patrick sharing his own life. Trusting David with himself. It's sincere and something David isn't used to. For most of his life he knew that you were never supposed to tell the whole truth, better yet, flattering lies were the way to go. And everyone around him knew the same rules. But Patrick wasn't in on this secret. And David has never been happier.

They start spending more time together after this. It comes naturally and David can't imagine how they sustained themselves on a couple of dates a week before. Seeing as David is spending a lot of time at Ray's, he starts weighing in on the new business Ray is working on and soon enough Ray is hiring him as his consultant for the Closet Organisation Company. Working with Ray is a bit of a surreal experience but it's fun. And gives David even more time in the same space as Patrick.

It should be suffocating. Any of David's previous partners would be telling him they needed space and that David was being clingy and too much. But Patrick basks in the time they get to spend together, seemingly as happy as David is. It's weird, it's not something David is used to, he loves it.

So it's no surprise that Patrick finds out about the four months thing. David isn't sure if Alexis is to blame, or if it's Stevie, but he's getting back at them. Probably with a nice bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine, depending on the girl.

There is a surprise party. It's as awful and tacky as any surprise party is bound to be. His family is there, which: yuck. They're sitting outside and David has to be on the lookout for any butterflies. But it's also perfect, so so perfect. There's food and drinks and his family (they can be both a good thing and a bad thing, okay?), Stevie's there. And most important, there's Patrick, serving him a slider just the way he likes them, smiling at him and talking to his parents with such ease it's impossible not to imagine him being there a year from now, or two...

David has trouble stopping these kinds of thoughts more and more. Part of the problem is: he doesn't want to stop them.

***

They've just celebrated their five month anniversary, and as much as David complains about the unnecessary gestures, he loves the attention and the gifts and the fact that Patrick makes it all into this big deal. Nobody's done that for David before and that's just one of the million ways Patrick's different from what David used to call relationships.

Ray's out on a photoshoot, but he's supposed to be back soon, so there's no groping or making out happening (anymore), just Patrick sitting behind his desk, filing papers, looking very professional and hot and sexy, the hickey David gave him peaking above the collar of the baby blue button down he chose to wear today. David is leaning on the edge of the table, flipping color pallettes without really looking at them, just enjoying the quiet before Ray bursts in with a million new ideas and another unassuming customer he seems to be able to snatch up right from the streets. It has to be some kind of superpower.

The door opens with a soft knock following it and that's definitely not Ray. David pushes off the table and walks over, greeting the petite redhead. The girl looks a little bit lost so David is not dismissing the chance that Ray did somehow rope her into getting there and now she was in the middle of questioning her choices in life.

"Rose-Butani closet organisation! How can I help you? If you're here for Ray he should be back in ten." Ray always wanted David to name all of his businesses when greeting the customers but it was ridiculous, they wouldn't be done by sunset if David did that. Also, just, no. For some reason he also insisted that David call it "the Butani-Rose closet organisation company" but as long as Patrick didn't snitch it was fine.

"Hi, I was actually looking for- Patrick." she ends the sentence staring past David, somewhere behind him, and before even looking David knows where she's looking. Patrick is standing up, his beautiful face creased with a frown, looking lost and unsure, very much unlike the Patrick David knows. It all clicks into place when he hears Patrick talk:

"Rachel? What are you doing here?"

"Rachel." David muses, too late to realize he's talking out loud. There's two pairs of eyes on him now. One looking confused, the other concerned. He thinks he should be freaking out right now. Patrick's ex-fiance is right there in front of him. Probably came to win Patrick back, like she always did. But David's calm, not a calm-before-the-storm calm, but actually calm. It's weird, not doubting this, but he also knows that Patrick is the most honest person he's ever met. And if Patrick ever felt like he wanted his old life back, he'd tell David about it.

David would love to stay and listen to what'll happen between the two, for moral support (fine, maybe partly because he lived for drama), but it was obviously personal.

"So I'm going to..." he vaguely gestured something resembling 'go upstairs' and power-walked his way up, ignoring the "David!" Patrick called out after him.

He _was_ pleasantly surprised to hear footsteps following him.

"David, please, wait." David was almost at Patrick's room, but he stopped, turning around to face his boyfriend. "I need- Rachel- David, you have nothing to worry about! Rachel and I are in the past, I told you about her, about us. It's been a long time since I saw her and I'm not sure what she's doing here..."

Patrick looked so distressed, trying his best to explain what was clearly not his fault. David couldn't let it go on any longer. He took the two steps towards Patrick to make the distance between them inexistent and wrapped his arms around Patrick's shoulders in a familiar gesture. He got a wide-eyed look in response, still a little spooked, still a little unsure. So he leaned in and kissed Patrick, without lingering, because that way this could last far longer than they could afford at the moment.

"Patrick, I know. Just, if you decide to abandon me here with Ray and leave, know that the first thing I set on fire will be your guitar."

It's a joke, but Patrick's face is adorably serious when he answers: "I won't leave."

So David just has to reply with an "I know."

They kiss again, briefly, and Patrick is stepping away.

"Could you look after the business though? I think Rachel and I should take a walk. Before Ray ropes her into something she doesn't need."

David nods and lets Patrick go first, following him after a minute, when he's sure they've already left.

He feels nervous. But not for himself. He hopes Rachel won't be mad at Patrick, will still accept him after she finds out everything. He hopes Patrick finds the right words and has the strength no matter her response. Hopes he knows that David will be there waiting for him and that David and his family (Stevie included) would do anything for him.

When Patrick comes back his eyes are rimmed with red but he's smiling. That night David stays over and Patrick quietly tells him how it was painful to break Rachel's heart again, but how it finally felt freeing. He talks about Rachel saying that she wasn't ready to be friends yet, that she had a lot to process, but that she wasn't going to just ditch him now that they weren't building a life together. They were friends first and they were good at that.

Patrick is exhausted and he soon falls asleep, his body gravitating towards David as if on instinct. David lets himself soak up the warmth and comfort, feeling secure in Patrick's arms and hoping that he makes Patrick feel just as safe and loved with his touch. Before going to sleep he kisses Patrick's chest, where his heart is beating slow and steady.

***

Stevie, Patrick and David are all examining the dying carcass of the general store, looking through the discounted junk they didn't need. After another of David's sensible comments about the use of space and the placement of the products, Stevie rolled her eyes.

"So do something about it. Put your money where your mouth is."

"Um, what?"

"Hey, Stevie's right, David. You have the money from helping Wendy with her store. And you did organize all those galleries back in New York. This might not be as glamorous, but it is a good idea."

"I don't even, what would- it's running a business though. I know nothing about running a business."

"You do." protests Patrick.

"He does." Stevie points to Patrick matter-of-factly.

David pulls a face at the both of them, but he feels a traitorous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

For a moment David lets himself picture it. The space transformed into something a lot more classy, a lot more him. He lets himself picture Patrick there with him, dealing with the financial aspects. Stevie's also there but she's a nuisance. Still, he lets her lounge in there after closing hours. It seems so unreal and yet so solid. Like this is exactly what's meant to be.

David finally allows a tentative smile to creep on his face.

"Okay, let's do this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that didn't get included in this fic: Jake being desperate for a threesome.
> 
> Consider leaving a comment if you liked it, or if you have any constructive criticism. I have no one to discuss Schitt's Creek with and this would be helpful if I decide to post another work (which is another alternative first meeting au, surprise surprise) 🌹


End file.
